Parking – The Story so far

So, a week into the new Nazi parking scheme in Wanstead. The one where people now have to park to guarantee getting a space on their street for the sum of £45 a year (soon to be £20) and have to pay 35p each time a friend comes around for a cup of Maxwell House. The very same scheme that a lot of us have been in for years! Oh but the biggest pain is that the other Wanstead folk now have to walk 5 minutes around the corner to get some milk and not drive because they would have to pay should they go over the 30 minutes.

The arguments make no sense. On one hand they want to stop traffic in Wanstead but on the other it is ok for locals to pollute the air when they could simply walk. Then they say business will suffer as out of towners will be detracted because of the pay as you park scheme, but were they able to park anyway? I thought the spaces were all taken up by Theodore in his Range Rover who was nipping around the corner to get some foie gras (oh, that’s right.. Wanstead voted against that a few years ago).

But the best one that we like at Wanstead and Rum towers comes from Wanstead’s Favourite Rage Against The Machine Blog. One of the most vocal residents of Wanstead has stated that the people who suffer the most from the new parking restrictions are the less able. The people who struggle to walk and using a mobile phone is not an option. These very same people just do not have the skills to apply for a blue disabled badge, which would make the parking restrictions no concern for them. Yet these same people can apply for insurance, get an MOT and tax their car (we hope).

So, to the resident who brought this silly argument to the table, how about you do this..

Stop complaining about Foie Gras in restaurants. Stop complaining about pollution yet push for locals to have the right to drive around the corner. Stop trying to ban plastic straws. Stop trying to get parking restrictions reversed because it only affects you, the minority. Stop trying to get the speed limit reduced to 20mph. Stop complaining about back lit signage. Stop complaining that you want and M&S Food but then because of other issues you don’t. Stop complaining about the Swimming Pool Wanstead is getting next year.

Start to put your energy in helping those who might need it. If someone is unable to apply for a blue badge, help them rather than use it as an argument against something.

We can however reveal that in the first week of the scheme, no business shut down and no one died.

With all of that said, you could just vote Conservatives because Paul Canal has promised that if you vote for them, then He will reverse the decision (We also have a screen grab of this tweet for when he takes it down).

If you have any thoughts on this, please at a comment below.

The bikes are coming! *Update*

It’s now official, 2nd March 2018 will see the cyclist Terrorists hit the High Street!

News ‘going around’ today that Wanstead is about to become the new China.

John Howard who is neither related to Ron or is the Australian Prime Minister, has posted on Twatter that #Wanstead might be getting a cycling scheme.

This begs many many questions.

Firstly, why had Sadiq Khan’t not simply extended the Santander scheme to Wanstead?

Well the answer is simple… those green cycle lights are classified as illuminated signage and are not Conservation Society approved and Santander have already left Wanstead.

Then, why not the middle class Brompton option, Leytonstone has one and the are much poorer than Wanstead folk?

Well, because Leytonstone has one that’s why. The decision was made not to have the same option as the 3rd world.

So, why Ofo?

Simple.. it’s all about back handers down the pub. Ofo are branching out and saw an opportunity albeit it with the help of some money that a councillor may or may not have lost down the back of a seat in The George.

What do we at Wanstead and Rum think?

Well our friends at Wanstead’s favourite cycling blog will no doubt answer all our questions, because no one else is allowed an opinion unless it’s theirs. They will tell us how this is exciting and how they will campaign to pedestrianise the High Street and show us how to make cycling helmets out of plastic straws. They will then tell us this is good for the environment. But they will then follow this up with the fact the bikes are not Brompton’s or the fact the colours are not in the Wansteadium Farrow and Ball palette.

The reality is we are now going to be subjected to middle class warfare on the High Street with people who do not know how to ride a bloody bike.

The High Street is not long, you can walk it… you also cannot cycle in the Park… The users will terrorise pedestrians by cycling on the pavements and will be allowed because they are better than you and you should move out of their bloody way!

We hope Free cycling lessons will come with the scheme. But here at Wanstead and Rum we really hope that we do not have these cycles cluttering up the High Street like some sort of middle class art abomination. We hope silly campaigns are resisted from Wanstead’s bored retired folk. We hope that if you want a bike to whizz around Wanstead that you just goto the local bike shop next to the old Santander and buy one.

But all that said, let’s see what Wansteadium tell us what we have to do and accept.

What do you think? Leave us a comment below.

Pay and Dismay

As pointed out by Wanstead’s favourite parking blog and the fact that unless you are blind or have been on another planet for the last year, the parking machines are here !!

But what does this mean…?

Well to start, it means that the non-locals who frequent our beautiful village will now have to pay for parking on top of the middle class tax for a sausage roll or loaf of bread from our middle class establishments.

It also means that our streets near the Tube stations will have ample spaces for friends who want to pop over in their 1990 Corsa’s to feel little whilst having a cup of freshly ground civet coffee and listen to us complain about how much it is costing us to send Olivia to private school.

But what it really means is that the locals now not only have to pay £45 a year to park the chauffeur Mobile on the street, but also have to pay in order to just hop into the car and park in the bus lane on the high street whilst the doing a bit of browsing to keep up appearances. This often results in them popping into Tesco in disguise to fill their Ginger Pig hemp bag with the reduced items. It also means that they have to have a stash of permits for their ‘friends’ at a whopping 35p a time in order to save them getting fined.

The reality is emissions will be reduced and the fat cats who do jump in the car and park illegally will get some well needed exercise.

This is a positive move Wanstead and many of us have been paying for permits for years! Welcome to the club and stop crying into your Gin.

Praise The Lord!  It’s February.

Wanstead and Rum’s offices have been drearier than a morgue in January, while the alcohol abstinence has taken its sorry toll on these writers.

After removing the Christmas decorations and getting out the bathroom scales (for them to announce the inevitable) we’ve spent the last 31 days slouched in our chairs playing with fidget spinners, avoiding the credit card bill, and working out that the dirty ads on Wanstead’s favourite website are targeted to our own smutty browsing.


But all that is behind us!  Damn, it’s nearly spring, when the first buds will appear on the trees and lambs frolking in meadows, will lift our spirits and get us through to summer.

Until then, there’s The Lash.  Old faithful.  Like a comfy pair of slippers and that warm pillow that your wife fanticises about smothering you with, the lash provides the emotional ups and downs that we need, and tonight is the first night of the roller coaster that will see us through to December 31st, tragedies aside.

So how should we approach our first night out?  Calmly and quietly with a couple of pints in the local, and getting home in time for the 10 O’Clock news?  Or noisily and obnoxiously, with dancing on the tables, being asked to leave by the gaffer, and a kebab from Wanstead’s Kebabaria?

I think we all know the answer.  Let’s chat tomorrow morning.