New Croissant

‘Nice’ to see a new shop front on the high street!

Well done to Nice Croissant for sprucing up the High Street with the new shop front and new ovens to provide Wanstead with the best LOCAL patisserie delights.

As predicted on our Twittor and Face Funk Account however, Wanstead’s best local business blog has had a half arsed attempt at congratulating them with a a picture of the shop in the dark… because they are sponsored by Gail’s

Wanstead and Rum however will be at Nice Croissant just as much now!

Did you deserve to be in Wanstead this Christmas?

Here at Wanstead and Rum HQ, we took our Christmas preparations terribly seriously.  We allowed ourselves a generous preparation budget, and Rum Towers is looking absolutely spiffing with it’s top-of-the-range decorations, and carefully wrapped gifts of significant financial value.

We noticed that Wanstead’s Favourite Quiz Blog has put a simple quiz up recently and instead of a quiz, we thought we’d have a survey to allow you to judge whether you really belong here in Wanstead.

What kind of tree do you have?

A)  8 ft tall Norwegian Pine bought from the high street for 80 quid after insisting that multiple trees were unwrapped for careful inspection of thickness of foliage.  All decorations have some family connection, with 50% being home made.  Sprinkled in soft glow lights from John Lewis.  No chocolates, advent is a time to prepare for the coming of Christ The Lord.

B)  5 ft Swedish Pine from Ikea after joining the rush on a Saturday morning at 9am, with accompanying chocolates.  The trunk isn’t quite straight but you’ve attempted to deal with the situation but hacking the base with a saw so that it leans in the opposite direction at the bottom.  Decorations are wooden, came in a multi-pack from Debenhams in the sale last January.

C)  4 ft plastic tree, bought from Woolworths in the late nineties.  Just about fits in the box which spends most of it’s like in the loft containing its load with the assistance of parcel tape.  Lights are multi-coloured and flash.  Chocolates from the pound shop, and some of them are from last year and have gone a bit white in their packaging.

How have you bought your gifts?

A)  After multiple trips to Oxford Street, each gift has been carefully selected from a boutique retailer in Selfridges.  Wrapping has crisp folds and bows are ties carefully with the ends cut at an angle.

B)  Amazon Prime is the saviour of Christmas, with purchases being left until the last possible moment, confident in the promise of next-day-delivery.  Neighbourhood-shuffles happen after dark where packages are re-distributed to the correct people on the road.  Gifts are wrapped in a fairly slap dash way using whatever paper happens to be in the draw.  Bows and ribbons do not feature

C)  Gifting is an afterthought dealt with on Christmas morning, where things from around the house are wrapped up in newspaper.  This year, your nephew Alfie got half a pint of warm bitter than you walked home from The George with on Christmas Eve.  Some of the smaller children will get plastic toys from Poundland which thankfully you didn’t remember to get batteries for.

How did you fund your Christmas?

A)  Popped it on the Gold Amex darling, and partner deals with the rest.  Apparently the Avios are terribly handy, or something,

B)  Popped it on the Barclaycard, but winced with every purchase, praying that you’d not hit your limit.  Can’t sleep at night in the knowledge of the bill expected in Mid January.

C)  Sold smack in November and performed a small amount of Burglary and light shop lifting in December to keep yourself in the black.  Have been rejected for all forms of credit since missing HP repayments on DFS three piece suite bought in 1991

What did you do on Christmas Day?

A)  Roasted ninety quids worth of Ginger Piggery Turkey to perfection while wearing a M&S Christmas jumper and sipping a port.  Dashed out for Church mid-morning and returned to turn the oven up for the roasties.  Handled everything in stride, did not highlight the Brexit voter to the rest of the gathering during dinner.  Opened family presents in the afternoon before heading off for a stroll around the park.  Had the kids in bed by seven, popped the telly on for 40 minutes of call-the-midwife and didn’t throw up or scream at the pommy accents.

B)  Awoke at 5am by 9-year old demanding to know whether he could go downstairs to unwrap his Nintendo Switch.  No he couldn’t.  Awoke at 5:30am by 9-year old demanding to know whether he could go downstairs and unwrap his Nintendo Switch.  No he couldn’t.  Awoke at 6am by 9 year old demanding to know whether he could go downstairs and unwrap his Nintendo Switch.  Retrieved Nintendo switch from downstairs, threw at 9 year old while muttering expletives in a low tone, stumped toe on bathroom door, yelped, and woke up youngest daughter.

Went downstairs with family, opened all presents very quickly in one big go.  Got shitty with partner for trying to take photographs before you had showered.   Burnt Tesco Finest turkey to a crisp, but partner said it was lovely while children scowled their way through cremated pigs-in-blankets.  Children spend all afternoon on computer games, or fighting.  Eventually wrestled them to bed at 8, before putting Clockwork Orange on the TV in the evening to make you feel better about yourself.

C)  Woke early, came downstairs to find kids had already opened their present, discarded it, and were watching CBBC.  Thought about putting Aldi battery chicken in oven, but had a Tenants Super to pick you up instead.  Sat on sofa and watched back-to-back Christmas TV.  During low point, put Only Fools and Horses on Dave.  Social Services pop around in the early afternoon and deliver hot food for children.  Pass out somewhere around 8, to be woken up by Pommy Nurse offering gas-and-air.  Turns out to be Miranda Hart, throw Tenants Super at TV.

What are your ambitions for 2018?

A) Hope to run small boutique on high street to keep oneself occupied.  Will sell individual arts and crafts, hopefully breaking even, but frankly that doesn’t really matter.  May stock artisan nibbles for preferred customers.

B)  Attending one of Wanstead’s Churches all year and collecting appropriate amount of god-stamps to get child in to local critically acclaimed primary school.  Pray or Pay and you’ve googled Forest School’s fees.

C)  Maintain Alcoholism and Job concurrently.  Avoid social services taking the Children.

So,  How did you get on?

Mainly A’s – You are Old Wanstead.  You will be here until the day you die, when your children will dance around in the money they got when they sold your house.

Mainly B’s – You are New Wanstead.  You have a mortgage you can’t really afford, a stressful job, awkward kids, you are pretty tired most of the time.

Mainly C’s – You are not from around here and you have stumbled on this website by mistake.  Off you toddle.

Let us know how your Christmas went in the comments below!

 

Wanstead Snow Pics

As Wanstead’s favourite Snow Photo blog posted some stunning images of the white stuff today we, at Wanstead and Rum towers, thought we should share the best of the ones our community members took and forwarded to us.

First up is Harold from Redbridge Lane West. Here Harold has taken a beautiful photo of the Snow at it’s best at the crossing near The George:

Then we have Mary from Nightingale Lane with an amazing composition of Snow mixed with Salt outside of the Tube Station:

Simon who lives above the shops on the High Street (not sure which one), has taken an outstanding snap to show the depth of Snow we received. This is Wanstead and Rums personal favourite:

Keith on his way back from Stratford, once the central line was operating again, got this sign at Leytonstone Station which was almost covered by the blizzard we saw on Sunday. Thank goodness for GPS otherwise the Tube drivers would get lost!

Then Kathy from Oak Hall Court managed to get a great shot to show why the tubes were unable to run:

Geoffrey from just off The Green managed to stumble across this beauty on The Green:

Great work guys and thanks for submitting the shots!

Two new supermarkets

Well well well….

Today, Wanstead’s favourite supermarket blog revealed that M&S is possibly, maybe still opening in Wanstead in January, possibly, maybe.

But, as exclusively revealed by Wanstead and Rum only days ago, Sainsburys have now also confirmed that they are opening in January in Wanstead.

So, with Co-op, Tesco, M&S, Sainsburys and not to forget about Global Food and Wine, us Wanstead folk are certainly going to be spoilt for choice.

Wanstead and Rum are going to be busy finding the best deals in Wanstead for our everyday essentials!

No doubt the local Upper Middle Class will be straight out to get the M&S bags for life and parading them up and down the High Street, proving their wealth. It also won’t be long before the same crowd forget the existence of the other outlets and only mention M&S as if we have had it for decades.

As for Two dine for £10, we understand that the delay for the store opening wasn’t only based on the proposed Signage which the Wanstead Conservation Dictatorship objected against, but that the same group do not want the Meal Deal! It is a decision made to deter those who are not as well off as the rest of them.

So, M&S will be opening at the end of January, however those of us that sit in the lower middle class category are going to be disappointed.

Conveniently though, it is next door to the George where two can dine for £7 anyway.

However, to sign off Wanstead and Rum would like to congratulate Sainsburys on bringing more variety to the High Street! Just please make sure you follow the signage rules.

Superdrug is here!

Wanstead and Rum exclusive this morning, Superdrug will be opening in the next couple of weeks in the old HSBC building.

The Rimmel London and all the shower gel you can buy for £1 stands are in and the refit is almost complete.

This is bad news for the Oxygen and open air museums on the High Street and and other potential Hipster business, however if it is going to save us a trip to Stressfield then it’s good for Wanstead and Rum.

In other news, Sainsburys may be taking over the previous soon to be an M&S next door to the George and Wanstead’s best Indian.

Just need the KFC, Subway and Paddy Power then we are almost complete.

Bad news for new potential local business.

Wanstead’s Favorite bank blog has today dropped the bombshell that the NatWest bank on the High Street is NOT, we repeat NOT closing.

Here at Wanstead and Rum we are unaffected (we sloshed all our lolly in to The Caymen Islands long ago) – but this is very bad news for the ‘local shops for local people Society’, as this is another dreadful chain taking up prime real estate.

Wanstead and Rum have heard from the grape vine that many companies and entrepreneurs were looking at this real estate, and we’re certainly pleased they have not moved it!   Subway, KFC, Paddy Power, Pizza Hut, McDonald’s are now all looking at alternative locations, thank goodness.  Image the kind of working class clientele these would attract!

However some genuine contenders for Wanstead’s-Middle-Class-Boutique-of-the-Year are going to miss out:

  • There was the Brazilian Barbers to challenge the Turkish Barbers.  (Always make sure your collars and cuffs match)
  • Jo’s Deconstructed Coffee Emporium.  (Apparently you had to crush the beans with your teeth, then suck water from a sponge)
  • Finally, Derek’s Wonky Veg Store, which was promising a refund on every carrot that made you giggle.

We even heard that Mary’s Inside Out Bakery was going to open, offering to sell Baguettes, Bagels, Buns, Baps, Balm cakes and Breadsticks from a £17 a go!  What a loss!

Oh, and some lovely squatters were also lining up to take residence!  Not the grotty lot with Opioid addictions and wet patches in their crotches, no no, the lovely bohemian ones who practice free love and read the Guardian.

We can only hope that these fantastic other interests will look at alternative locations on the High Street!  The site previously occupied by Santander perhaps, or the plot avoided by M&S after The Wanstead Society demanded a Harrods Food Hall instead?

We are sure you are disappointed by the news, let us know your thoughts below.  REMEMBER, at Wanstead and Rum, we let ALL the comments through!*

*Unless you are President Donald Trump, and you’d like to link to some far right racial hatred groups.  You can fuck right off.