We can’t HEAR you, Aldersbrook

Wanstead’s Favorite mobile signal status blog posted last week on the state of the Vodafone signal in Aldersbrook.  Sue’s husband, Dom, was papped by The Rum as he had been sent in to the park to try and pop a bet on the the horses.

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This is yet another attempt from Aldersbrook trying to stretch the Wanstead boundary and claim true Middle Class status.

We see the same valiant efforts also come from Snaresbrook and even parts of Leytonstone at times, and The Rum feels more than qualified to adjudicate on matters as it’s offices are spitting distance from Wanstead tube – and is therefore our status is not in question as The Authority.

Wanstead and Rum sent a man (or person if that offends you) to find out the obsession with Wanstead and why Aldersbrook and Snaresbrook want this title.  Our representative first ventured into the Public House deprived area of Aldersbrook, avoiding the tumbleweed that threatened to bowl him over.

The Rum caught up with Meghan (36) from Merlin Road to ask why she feels Aldersbrook should be part of Wanstead:

“Well, we tried to buy a house in Wanstead but we were out priced and Harry has blown the budget quite royally on my ring.  Aldersbrook was the next best location we could afford and it’s only a 10 minute bus ride on the 101.

“Aldersbrook’s enhanced conservation status means the properties are beautifully middle class, with hardly any pebble-dash, and very few of those terrible plastic windows you see around central Wanstead.  Most Aldersbrook residents make sure they go to the high street to get right-royally-ripped-off at least twice a week, so we believe we should be ‘in’.”

Next was Iain (56) from Dover Road:

“I’m a member of Wanstead Golf Club, if they allow members from outside the current Wanstead boundaries then they should bring those areas into Wanstead. Plus, we live next to Wanstead bloody Flats and Wanstead friggin Park!”

Finally (because our representative was parched and Aldersbrook has no pubs) we spoke with Thalia (38) from Park Avenue on the way home:

“We used to live in Wanstead and plan to return, however we had to move to Aldersbrook for Thea’s education.  It was the only guarantee of getting into an Ofsted Outstanding school without pretending to be religious and learning hymns, and we felt a little uncomfortable doing that.  Instead, we’ve chosen a totally different type of hypocrisy, by renting in Aldersbrook for a year to cheat the boundaries before moving back home..

“If only they would just change the boundaries, we would never have had to rent out our home on St Mary’s Drive for the year.”

Our representative was due to walk up the high street to Snaresbrook to continue his research, but the 47 mile walk from Aldersbrook took it’s tole, and he never made it further than The Cuckfield.

Still! with the information we had, we decided to call Redbridge Council (no issues with Vodafone at Rum HQ) to put the case to them surrounding the solid reasons we had to stretch the boundaries of Wanstead to Aldersbrook and Snaresbrook.

Surprisingly we got straight through and spoke with Johny Lazyarse, who was answering a call during a 5 minute shift in between a fag break and knock-off time at 16:15.

After a touch of light social engineering with Johnny, Wanstead and Rum can now exclusively reveal the newly proposed boundaries, which will be implemented without consultation (will they never learn!).

  • Browning Road and the corner of Harvey Road and the High Street in Leytonstone will become honorary parts of Wanstead which are significant additions as they house popular overpriced drinking establishments in the form of The North Star, The Red Lion and The Birds.
  • These will form an island which will be connected in the medium term by a dedicated shuttle service to The Manor House.  The map below shows details of the new boundary, and the dotted line shows the shuttle service

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  • A titbit has been thrown at Aldersbrook:  The George will be moved brick-by-brick to Woodlands Avenue as part of a two year trial to see whether it can cope with the running of An Amenity.  If all goes well, they could work towards a newsagent in 2021.

What do you make of these changes? We would love to hear your thoughts below.

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