Utter panic hit Wanstead this morning as, for a brief moment, Wanstead’s favourite website was down, with readers greeted with the message ‘unable to establish database connection’.
Mary (38) was one of the local residents affected by the break down:
“I normally check in with the site on the school run in the morning, in-between starting the engine and doing my make up.
“Upon discovering the upsetting news, I quickly took to WhatsApp to check that that it wasn’t just a problem with my phone.”
Across the road, Maive (45) was woken early by the beeping of WhatsApp, as messages started to filter from Mary.
“I get nervous and anxious if I have more than one unread WhatsApp messages from the local mums groups, so as soon as I heard my phone beep, I was bolt upright, giving the issue my urgent attention.
“When I discovered the news I immediately felt a sense of loss that i haven’t felt since I accidentally reversed over Kitty in the X5.
“I used to feel safe in the knowledge that I am completely up to date with every rumor and piece of hearsay regarding commercial lettings on the high street. With the website down, who is monitoring these activities and keeping us informed?
“What would happen if another charity shop opened, and I heard about it TOO LATE?
Wanstead And Rum was interviewing Maive over a pot of tea in the immaculately laid out drawing room of her recently refurbished 1890s semi. Her husband, Paddy, popped his nose round the door during the interview and I asked him whether he had any ideas around how to alleviate Maive’s anxieties.
“She could get a fecking job, lazy eejit”
Well thank you Paddy, but who would this website write satire about then?