Wanstead and Rum’s offices have been drearier than a morgue in January, while the alcohol abstinence has taken its sorry toll on these writers.
After removing the Christmas decorations and getting out the bathroom scales (for them to announce the inevitable) we’ve spent the last 31 days slouched in our chairs playing with fidget spinners, avoiding the credit card bill, and working out that the dirty ads on Wanstead’s favourite website are targeted to our own smutty browsing.
But all that is behind us! Damn, it’s nearly spring, when the first buds will appear on the trees and lambs frolking in meadows, will lift our spirits and get us through to summer.
Until then, there’s The Lash. Old faithful. Like a comfy pair of slippers and that warm pillow that your wife fanticises about smothering you with, the lash provides the emotional ups and downs that we need, and tonight is the first night of the roller coaster that will see us through to December 31st, tragedies aside.
So how should we approach our first night out? Calmly and quietly with a couple of pints in the local, and getting home in time for the 10 O’Clock news? Or noisily and obnoxiously, with dancing on the tables, being asked to leave by the gaffer, and a kebab from Wanstead’s Kebabaria?
I think we all know the answer. Let’s chat tomorrow morning.