Praise The Lord!  It’s February.

Wanstead and Rum’s offices have been drearier than a morgue in January, while the alcohol abstinence has taken its sorry toll on these writers.

After removing the Christmas decorations and getting out the bathroom scales (for them to announce the inevitable) we’ve spent the last 31 days slouched in our chairs playing with fidget spinners, avoiding the credit card bill, and working out that the dirty ads on Wanstead’s favourite website are targeted to our own smutty browsing.

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But all that is behind us!  Damn, it’s nearly spring, when the first buds will appear on the trees and lambs frolking in meadows, will lift our spirits and get us through to summer.

Until then, there’s The Lash.  Old faithful.  Like a comfy pair of slippers and that warm pillow that your wife fanticises about smothering you with, the lash provides the emotional ups and downs that we need, and tonight is the first night of the roller coaster that will see us through to December 31st, tragedies aside.

So how should we approach our first night out?  Calmly and quietly with a couple of pints in the local, and getting home in time for the 10 O’Clock news?  Or noisily and obnoxiously, with dancing on the tables, being asked to leave by the gaffer, and a kebab from Wanstead’s Kebabaria?

I think we all know the answer.  Let’s chat tomorrow morning.

M&S have forced the closure of Local business

Shock news today. one of Wanstead’s most loved restaurants has been seized by the Landlord so that the fabled M&S store can open…

This is disgusting! No consultation, no surveys, no vote.

YOU, the wanstead conservation Mafia have done this and you have taken it too far now.

Yes the establishment was a rough diamond, but a diamond it was. Fantastic food and good value.

We ask that people let the landlords know how disgusting this is. Boycott M&S, why do we need it anyway!

A sad day.. I hope you are happy @Wansteadium

Vandalism on the rise!

We woke up this morning to a string of Vandalism on the Streets of the Independent Dictatorship State of Wanstead.

Broken Glass, Vomit, littering are just a few acts we witnessed this morning but nothing could prepare us to the broken fence surrounding Bike Trax in Cambridge Park Road!

This violent act of crime has upset many of the locals. Marigold (53) said she had never seen anything like it before:

“I have never seen anything like it before!”

George (47) from Park Road is really concerned about security:

“I am really concerned about the security of my property and possessions. I will now have to install cameras on the outside of my home and make the butler do night shifts sat in the Jaguar to keep a watchful eye out for the ruffians”

And Felix (25 and lives with his parents) said he was shocked:

“I am shocked”

This is dreadful news for Wanstead House Prices. Coupled with the non starting M&S store, the evil Parking restrictions and the closure last year of Judith’s et al, Wanstead is going to struggle to make the Sunday Times shortlist next year for one of the best places to live.We need to take action!

Let’s Pool together – an open letter to Wanstead

So, we have had confirmation over the weeks from Jas Athwal that Wanstead will be getting the promised pool. We also now know that it will be on the current site of Wanstead High school.

This is fantastic news! No longer do we have to get in the car and drive to a nearby pool in Walthamstow, Leyton and beyond or Forest School (although they do excellent swimming lessons), nor do we have to jump on the tube to Stratford to freeze to the bone in the Olympic Pool. It’s also a plus for the school, which has took a beating in Ofsted ratings of late. It is worth noting however that is is currently ‘Good’ but with more facilities this could help it achieve ‘Outstanding’.

But with the positive news comes the hate. We can already feel the ‘We want a gold star consultation that suits us and ultimately a NO decision’ and the pathetic excuses about how Harold (89) cannot use the pool as he has to call to book a session and he does not have a mobile phone. And the pool only has 19 disabled spaces but unfortunately, although he can drive and is a keyboard warrior at night, cannot apply for a blue permit, because during the day he forgets how to use a computer. Although he would qualify for a badge, well because he’s 89!

Then with this, Paul Canal will promise to have the scheme scrapped if you vote Conservative in the next local election. Anything for a vote with them guys.

Previous ‘No’ campaigners have stated that the traffic will increase and is bad! Really?

  • The pool is in Wanstead and therefore will prevent people having to get into their cars to drive to other pools, thus reducing traffic.
  • Why would out of towners come to Wanstead when they have their own pool? With Ilford getting one and other areas already having them, it means people will stay where they live.
  • If we did have out of towners coming, then surely this will be good for the High Street business? You know, the High Street that’s dying because locals now have to walk to the shops rather than drive 20 meters around the corner thus leaving ample spaces for others to park and pay for the privilege. The same as they do in pretty much every town now!

Look, we are not saying that the pool is for everyone. Sure a lot of residents won’t use it and therefore will complain about the waste of the Tax Payers money etc.. but there is always going to be an opposing argument to any decision made.

However in Wanstead we have a team of professional campaigners who just want to be heard. They line up things to complain about in order to get a small victory and some recognition of their existence. You know who you are.

Wanstead, if you have not noticed, is a hub for young families. We truly believe that Wanstead is just one big aphrodisiac. People even engage in ‘getting to know each other on a really intimate and personal level’ in public spaces!

The age of the place to retire has gone. It’s now a young area and that is not going to change anytime soon. It won’t be long before a soft play opens up, trust us.

So, a pool is a fantastic resource and Wanstead deserves it.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this. Give Jas Athwal your support and let’s see if we can even convince Paul Canal to back it and not play the votes game here.

We love you Wanstead!

M&S update..

As is tradition, we are the first to report on the regular M&S random delay excuse.

Today M&S confirmed that the end of March opening (pushed from late last year and then January) is now ‘Mid-May’

As we have already mentioned, because of @wansteadium and the Wanstead dictatorship society, M&S are not opening because they don’t like to deal in local politics and refuse to offer @Wansteadium money to advertise on their site.

But, they are still mocking us:

Parking – The Story so far

So, a week into the new Nazi parking scheme in Wanstead. The one where people now have to park to guarantee getting a space on their street for the sum of £45 a year (soon to be £20) and have to pay 35p each time a friend comes around for a cup of Maxwell House. The very same scheme that a lot of us have been in for years! Oh but the biggest pain is that the other Wanstead folk now have to walk 5 minutes around the corner to get some milk and not drive because they would have to pay should they go over the 30 minutes.

The arguments make no sense. On one hand they want to stop traffic in Wanstead but on the other it is ok for locals to pollute the air when they could simply walk. Then they say business will suffer as out of towners will be detracted because of the pay as you park scheme, but were they able to park anyway? I thought the spaces were all taken up by Theodore in his Range Rover who was nipping around the corner to get some foie gras (oh, that’s right.. Wanstead voted against that a few years ago).

But the best one that we like at Wanstead and Rum towers comes from Wanstead’s Favourite Rage Against The Machine Blog. One of the most vocal residents of Wanstead has stated that the people who suffer the most from the new parking restrictions are the less able. The people who struggle to walk and using a mobile phone is not an option. These very same people just do not have the skills to apply for a blue disabled badge, which would make the parking restrictions no concern for them. Yet these same people can apply for insurance, get an MOT and tax their car (we hope).

So, to the resident who brought this silly argument to the table, how about you do this..

Stop complaining about Foie Gras in restaurants. Stop complaining about pollution yet push for locals to have the right to drive around the corner. Stop trying to ban plastic straws. Stop trying to get parking restrictions reversed because it only affects you, the minority. Stop trying to get the speed limit reduced to 20mph. Stop complaining about back lit signage. Stop complaining that you want and M&S Food but then because of other issues you don’t. Stop complaining about the Swimming Pool Wanstead is getting next year.

Start to put your energy in helping those who might need it. If someone is unable to apply for a blue badge, help them rather than use it as an argument against something.

We can however reveal that in the first week of the scheme, no business shut down and no one died.

With all of that said, you could just vote Conservatives because Paul Canal has promised that if you vote for them, then He will reverse the decision (We also have a screen grab of this tweet for when he takes it down).

If you have any thoughts on this, please at a comment below.

The bikes are coming! *Update*

It’s now official, 2nd March 2018 will see the cyclist Terrorists hit the High Street!


News ‘going around’ today that Wanstead is about to become the new China.

John Howard who is neither related to Ron or is the Australian Prime Minister, has posted on Twatter that #Wanstead might be getting a cycling scheme.

This begs many many questions.

Firstly, why had Sadiq Khan’t not simply extended the Santander scheme to Wanstead?

Well the answer is simple… those green cycle lights are classified as illuminated signage and are not Conservation Society approved and Santander have already left Wanstead.

Then, why not the middle class Brompton option, Leytonstone has one and the are much poorer than Wanstead folk?

Well, because Leytonstone has one that’s why. The decision was made not to have the same option as the 3rd world.

So, why Ofo?

Simple.. it’s all about back handers down the pub. Ofo are branching out and saw an opportunity albeit it with the help of some money that a councillor may or may not have lost down the back of a seat in The George.

What do we at Wanstead and Rum think?

Well our friends at Wanstead’s favourite cycling blog will no doubt answer all our questions, because no one else is allowed an opinion unless it’s theirs. They will tell us how this is exciting and how they will campaign to pedestrianise the High Street and show us how to make cycling helmets out of plastic straws. They will then tell us this is good for the environment. But they will then follow this up with the fact the bikes are not Brompton’s or the fact the colours are not in the Wansteadium Farrow and Ball palette.

The reality is we are now going to be subjected to middle class warfare on the High Street with people who do not know how to ride a bloody bike.

The High Street is not long, you can walk it… you also cannot cycle in the Park… The users will terrorise pedestrians by cycling on the pavements and will be allowed because they are better than you and you should move out of their bloody way!

We hope Free cycling lessons will come with the scheme. But here at Wanstead and Rum we really hope that we do not have these cycles cluttering up the High Street like some sort of middle class art abomination. We hope silly campaigns are resisted from Wanstead’s bored retired folk. We hope that if you want a bike to whizz around Wanstead that you just goto the local bike shop next to the old Santander and buy one.

But all that said, let’s see what Wansteadium tell us what we have to do and accept.

What do you think? Leave us a comment below.

Pay and Dismay

As pointed out by Wanstead’s favourite parking blog and the fact that unless you are blind or have been on another planet for the last year, the parking machines are here !!

But what does this mean…?

Well to start, it means that the non-locals who frequent our beautiful village will now have to pay for parking on top of the middle class tax for a sausage roll or loaf of bread from our middle class establishments.

It also means that our streets near the Tube stations will have ample spaces for friends who want to pop over in their 1990 Corsa’s to feel little whilst having a cup of freshly ground civet coffee and listen to us complain about how much it is costing us to send Olivia to private school.

But what it really means is that the locals now not only have to pay £45 a year to park the chauffeur Mobile on the street, but also have to pay in order to just hop into the car and park in the bus lane on the high street whilst the doing a bit of browsing to keep up appearances. This often results in them popping into Tesco in disguise to fill their Ginger Pig hemp bag with the reduced items. It also means that they have to have a stash of permits for their ‘friends’ at a whopping 35p a time in order to save them getting fined.

The reality is emissions will be reduced and the fat cats who do jump in the car and park illegally will get some well needed exercise.

This is a positive move Wanstead and many of us have been paying for permits for years! Welcome to the club and stop crying into your Gin.

Percy Pig has done a runner

As previously mentioned many times by Wanstead and Rum, the fabled M&S food in Wanstead is not happening.

Wanstead’s Favourite M&S blog will have you believe it is, however today’s news brought to our attention by @amk_xx on twitter shows that M&S is scaling back on its expansion plans and closing stores.

Why would they open in Wanstead when there is a store in South Woodford a stones throw away. Not to mention the big one in Stratford.

The reality is, after the Conservation Society and it’s Nazi ruling on signs, backed up by Wanstead’s Favourite Blog – M&S have had their hand forced.

If it wasn’t for this dictatorship then the M&S would have opened and would probably stay open.

So, we know where the blame lies…

Smoke and Mirrors

First you were promised an M&S by the end of January – #fakenews – and then Wanstead’s favourite Vape Blog promised that the old Roast building was going to be a Vape shop like the one in South Woodford, before then saying “its probably just going to be an Indian again”. Again #fakenews and somewhat disrespectful to people trying to make a business work.

To be written off before it has even revealed its self is not good form. Plus it proves that our Friends over at Wanstead’s Favourite Blog know nothing, John Snow.

We can reveal, because the big sign says so on the front, it is going to be a Mediterranean Restaurant. It’s been many things over the years, an Indian, a Thai, a Roast, a Thai again and now a Mediterranean.

We know how the friends of our friends will respond:

“Oh, not another Mediterranean restaurant, we want an Organic Carrot and Cucumber Restaurant with Vegan decor.”

Well ‘name to be confirmed’ we are looking forward to it. It is one less empty unit on our dying High Street and if you can get eight what the other entrepreneurs have failed to do so in the past, then good for you.

Wanstead and Rum Love a bit of the Med so we will venture along for a taste and some vino. Let’s hope you get rid of the dead mouse smell that haunted the place and please offer people plastic straws if they want them.

The unit next door is under offer, so we still might get the KFC, Subway or Paddy Power we need, although rumour has it the old Santander is under offer from Paddy, he like to make himself known and it is the Grand National soon.